Social Media: Does It Make or Break Close Friendships?

Student Persuasive Essay by Shaila Piercey

According to a Pew Research poll conducted in 2024, across five platforms, (Youtube, Tik-Tok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook), nearly one-third of teens claim to use one of these sites almost constantly. This is a shocking report, especially as we think back two or three generations ago, when all friendships were maintained with hand-written letters. People would write letters back and forth, or they would visit their friends in person and chat over a cup of tea. 

    Grandparents of this generation would have been shocked when they were younger if they knew what kind of advances in technology our generation would have, for better or worse. Although social media is a remarkable tool for building connections with “friends” across miles and decades of time, it is often misused in several ways and has caused harmful division between close Christian companions. There are three key foundations on which friendships between Christian teenagers should be built, and young people must be careful that social media doesn’t undermine these. 

    Acting in haste is a common mistake that many teenagers make on social media. Social media is an effective tool for sharing experiences, and interacting with people whom some would never be able to speak to on a daily basis. However, it is entirely too easy for teenagers to reply carelessly, or to hit the unfriend button over a dispute on social media. It is easier to click the unfriend button when a person is unhappy with someone, than to have a conversation with them in person. When someone makes a bold statement on social media, those words can be seriously misunderstood and lead to a rash response. The Bible says that “a hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”

Saying something unloving while acting in haste is completely against the way that the Bible teaches that people should solve disputes between each other. However, there is a way in which someone can correct a friend in a loving, biblical way. This is the second foundation for friendships, and it is called constructive criticism. Sadly, constructive criticism is rarely seen in the way teenagers speak to each other on social media. Healthy criticism does not mean tearing someone down because someone thinks they know more about a subject than they do. Rather, healthy criticism should be a helpful tool for pointing out a friend’s blind spot and gently redirecting them. Friends should not be afraid to use healthy criticism to help each other grow in their faith, but they also shouldn’t misuse it. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” There are a lot of dangers in the world, and teenagers very easily get steered down wrong paths. It is important to give some healthy criticism to other teenagers, as long as it is given in humility and love. 

Another foundation for building healthy Christian friendships is encouragement. There are so many tragedies and trends going on in the world right now that teenagers can be deeply affected by, and these show up on social media. God did not mean for us to live the Christian life alone. It is incredibly important to have Christian friends who can be there to offer encouragement and support. In John Bunyan’s book, The Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian meets a man named Faithful. They become good friends, and they even go through a place called Vanity Fair together. Faithful encourages Christian to stand strong in his faith and fight against vanity as they travel through this terrible place together. Christian teenagers should encourage each other in the same way. The Bible emphasizes this in Ecclesiastes 4. This text says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, and has not another to lift him up!”. 

Is there a way to guard against the dangers of acting in haste, criticism, and tearing each other down? Well, there are actually ways in which a person can use social media wisely. One of these ways is by limiting usage of social media and taking breaks occasionally. Sometimes having social media can be a constant contributor of stress. There are times when it would be wise to turn off social media and take a break from it. People must guard their hearts against the falsehoods that are on social media. The Bible says in Philippians 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Lastly, people must keep Philippians 4:8 in the front of our minds. This text says, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” In this way, teenagers can guard their hearts, mind, and eyes, and build true, biblical Christian friendships.